Bees under a house, this story is one for the books
So my buddy called last week, said Tony, my coworker has some bees under his house and I told him that you might want them. Remember that. So I said of course, I’d love to add some bees to my property! I call up the guy and head on over to his house to check on the situation. Well when I get there, the guy tells me that, they have been under his (HOUSE) for two to three months. Ol MY, REALLY. I ask. So being Tony, I crawl up under there to quench my curiosity even more. I’m looking and thinking well this isn’t that many bees. All I’m thinking in my head is, I want the queen! Don’t really care about the honey, I want to save her! So I cut open a piece of the floor, yes I’m laying down on my back, and BAM, HOLY CRAP, that’s more than just a few bees.
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So I crawl out from back under the house, talk the situation over with my partner in crime Deja. She’s like, Tony your mad, are they really worth that? Now that little boy inside me starts to overtake all my sense, I got this! So we leave for a few days, I’m in the middle of doing sheetrock on my other job, at the moment. So Friday comes around, we work from 8:30am till 7pm that night. I told the customer I was going have it all hung and screwed in, I don’t go back on my word. Saturday morning rolls around and I’m running on all cylinders with some coffee mixed in. “THE FUN BEGINS” We roll up at the guys house at 10 am, put our bee suits on, grab all our stuff outta the car and make a game plan….. I tell Deja, I’m going cut some more of the floor out just to see how far this goes and see exactly what I’m dealing with here. I start cutting, OMG, I say a few choice words. They was just a few more bees then I thought! Well it’s Tony, I AINT SCARD OF ANYTHING.
I love telling and adding stories to my book. I’m thinking in my head there ain’t no way in hell im going be able to find the queen in 10-25,000 bees, if not more. Yes there is enough to fill one of my hive boxes up with. So for a moment picture this. I’m laying under a house, bee smoker in one hand, putty knife in the other, three boxes I’m gently putting brood in, capped honey in, trying not to get stung, using a headlamp to shine each time I take some comb, to look for the queen in all this mess, my back is in arched ways that only a dumbass would be or how a contortionist crawls into boxes. This is going hurt tomorrow Tony! Let that sink in for a moment. Trying my best to try and find the queen. Knowing my chances are VERY slim. Where I have to stick my arms, it’s a steel beam, an arms length away. So I can’t just drop everything straight down in the boxes. I have to actually pick up all the bees gently with my hands and put them in the boxes. You think about that for a second. 1 pm rolls around, I’m still at it under there, sweating like crazy, trying my best to find, save the bees and the queen. I’m Tony, I love animals and yes, everything needs a little more love these days. I’m thinking will I ever catch a glimpse of her. OUCH. damn that woke me back up. Bee Sting one, I pushed one into my sweaty leg. 3 o’clock rolls around. I’m smoking, pulling, cussing, laughing, Deja is shaking her head. I’m a very persistent person! DEJA DEJA HERE SHE IS, I SEE HER!! Omg, my heart just hit the roof of the house. But wait, it doesn’t get easy, remember this is a Tony story! I don’t have a queen bee clip, that’s what they are called. You catch queens in it and the bee can still move around and what be. My dumbass has still forgot to buy one and I’m using one of Deja’s “Tea infuser” that we use for tea. Yes, you can laugh now, and shake your head cause I am! So I’m trying my best to keep the light on her, clip her with this crazy ass tea infuser, not kill her, not get stung, arch my back up inside the house rafters, with my arm extended out. Yes, she is staying in the very corner of the rafter! Damn it all to hell! Of course I lose her three other times. Finally I give up, it’s 4:30 and I’ve lost her. My light battery died and I can’t see anything. So I crawl out from under the house, my head down low, I hate to lose! We go up to tractor supply gets something cold to drink, new flashlights and a bag of combos, haven’t ate those things in years! Lol we get back to the house, I say to myself and to Deja, I gotta find her! Here I go back under. At this time I’ve got a small cardboard box between my legs that has about 3,000 bees in it, right, they are very calm. So I look down, hit the box a few times, just to check for the 20’th time, maybe just maybe, I dropped her in it and she’s hiding. DEJA DEJA DEJA DEJA DEJA!!!! She’s in the box, we got her!!! I’m yelling. So I gently move her and the box to the outside to the edge of the house. So I’m moving and looking down at the ground as I crawl out BAM BEE STING TWO, on my ass check this time. Ol well, suck it up buttercup. So I’m looking around on the ground as I move out and HOLY CRAP, What you know, I find another queen on the ground crawling!! Two queens, one hive!!! In the other box she goes, I have to pick her up with my fingers. As soon as she went in the box, the worker bees jumped on her and started cleaning her off. That being said, I talk to the home owner and tell him what’s going on, tell him we’ll back about 9:30 to pick up the boxes of bees. So here we are two fun loving, tired ass, animal loving people, driving back home, at 11 pm, with our bee suits on, in our trusty Subaru. 11:45 we sit down, look at each other, laugh some more, Deja says, “Omg what a day, I’m hungry!” Baby, You ain’t lying” Tomorrow I have to remove all the bees from the box, cut there comb out that we took, cut there honey out for them and put them in there new home. We wonder what normal people do on their Saturday night. Do you think they are driving around at 11pm with a bee suit on?
“So, my question to you is. What have you done today, what have you done to save our Mother Earth?
